This is the last bath I get to take for a while, as I have surgery scheduled for tomorrow and there’s always a “don’t submerge the wound” period for a time after that. I decided to do some reading for my class on the history of the antebellum period, enjoy a cold drink, and let the heat just filter into me. It feels good, although I wonder (for about the millionth time) how nice it would be to have a tankless heater or a bigger tub. Maybe both.

The surgery really shouldn’t worry me as much as it does. It’s relatively minor, about a 90 minute procedure, but there are a few things that keep gnawing on the edge of my calm.

First, we don’t know if the thing being removed is cancerous or not. If it is, we’ve got more steps, and I just have healing to focus on if it is benign.

Secondly, since there’s no general, it means I’m awake while the (very nice and professional) doctor cuts into the meat of my chest and digs this little monster out, a prospect I am not looking forward to enduring. She’s done similar work on my leg, and has removed concerning patches of skin from my face and back in previous visits, and they haven’t been too stressful, but even the leg surgery (very similar to this one) was less than 30 minutes in length.

Thirdly, recovery is going to be complicated. I have to make sure the muscle and skin aren’t strained, and it is in an area that holds up a good portion of my chest, so that means binders, tight sports bras, and other uncomfortable support clothes. It also means not moving, which I am notoriously bad at. Then there is the fact that I’m supposed to pause my biologic therapy for Ankylosing Spondylitis until I’m out of the “risk of infection” stage of recovery, which will mean I’m one or two weeks overdue for my shot, something that always causes me to be concerned that the iritis will flare back up.

So, I’m worried.

Still, the bath was nice, I’m going to sleep and do my homework early (today and pre-surgery tomorrow) so I don’t need to be super functional for the next few days, and I’ll head in with as much confidence as I can muster.



I've never been particularly good about keeping a regular blog, but I try. I figured I'd start one up here, and use it as a way to stay connected to you all. I'll post the blog entries over on the twitters as well, so you get a chance to respond or tell me what you think, as time goes on.

One of the things you'll notice as you're reading, is that you will see mentions of depression, mental illness and suicide. You'll see talk about politics, and how it impacts people, especially people like those that I know. You'll see little dorky things about pets, articles about accessibility, about history and book reviews and anything and everything else.

Most writing I submit for publication is just that: writing I complete and submit, and others decide to publish it. Rarely, I am asked for my input. Even rarer still, I am paid. This is mostly a labor of love and ego, as much as it allows me to share my work with you and have a functional online portfolio.

So, get comfortable, sit down, buckle up, and join the mailing list on the support page if you'd like (there will be announcements on twitter every time something new pops up, if that's easier for you).

Then, read.